"We [white people] need to accept that when a person of color tells us we’ve fucked up, the answer is not to get defensive. When we get that instinct to say “geez, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it that way at all,” it’s time to stop right now. It doesn’t matter how you meant it. It really doesn’t. Someone doesn’t have to have racism in their heart to do something racist. And doing something racist doesn’t make you an evil person who can never do good again, should never be an activist, should run off and hide in a hole somewhere. It means you did something hurtful, you made a big mistake, and you need to own that mistake. You need to say “I’m sorry.” Full stop. I’m sorry. And if the person who called you out is generous enough to take time to explain what you did wrong, you need to have a seat and listen."

-

Avory Faucette (via woozypumpkins)

i.e. how to deal with being called out

(via grrrl-gear)

(via rachelmckibbens)

"I opened “You slut” and found church pews
I opened church pews and found desperation
I opened desperation and found music
I opened music and found my father
I opened my father and found my broken heart
I opened my heart and found you leaving me
I opened your leaving and found “You are impossible to love”
I opened “Impossible” and inside was a scream.
I opened a scream and inside was childhood.
I opened childhood and inside was a swingset
I opened swingsets and inside were first kisses
I opened first kisses and inside were scared mothers
I opened scared mothers and inside was my mother
I opened my mother and inside was a scream."

-

-Let’s Start With The Insult, Clementine von Radics (via clementinevonradics)

HI.  I love this.  Time to play.

(via misiantaylor)

So rad to see what comes of my writing exercises! This one comes from here: http://rachelmckibbens.blogspot.com/2013/04/writing-exercise-96.html

(via rachelmckibbens)

"Use of the term “mental illness” itself contributes to the entrenchment of the “mental illness” paradigm: So, considering its ongoing lack of validity and the enormous harm that it causes, why has the “mental illness” paradigm becoming so entrenched in our society? While I’m sure that there are many factors contributing to this (see the section below), I believe that the term “mental illness” itself is one of the largest culprits (as Szasz and others have previously pointed out). A concept that is more appropriately used as a metaphor (the mind being “ill”) has somehow become interpreted as a fact. Implicit in the term “mental illness” are two problematic assumptions: (1) that the mind (our subjective experience) is nothing more than an epiphenomenon of the brain, and (2) that unpleasant, disordered, or anomalous experiences occurring within one’s mind, especially when the catalyst for these is not so clear, must imply some disease of the brain. Looking more closely at the first assumption takes us down a bit of a rabbit hole that I don’t want to take the time to diverge into here, but the second assumption is where I believe we really get into serious trouble and is one that can easily be discredited. If someone experiences fear due to a threat, or sadness due to a loss, or confusion due to a new insight, of course we would find it absurd to consider these the manifestations of a diseased brain. But we also know that extreme and unusual subjective experiences can occur from causes that are less clear, such as what may arise from trauma, childhood abuse, or otherwise being overwhelmed by various core existential dilemmas. And unfortunately, it is these times when the catalysts are less clear that we are so quick to evoke the term “mental illness” and head down the path fuelled by the assumptions associated with this term (i.e., that the brain must be diseased in some way and then treated as such). And as discussed earlier, once we head down this path, the “treatment” is likely to actually create a genuine brain disease. So what we find, then, is a positive (self-reinforcing) feedback loop between the increasing use of a flawed and oxymoronic concept, “mental illness,” and the increasing prevalence and the illusory validation of the “mental illness” paradigm within our society.

The “mental illness” paradigm—an insidious cancer: I find it interesting to turn the “medical model” language of “mental illness” back onto itself and consider this entire “mental illness” paradigm as acting like an insidious cancer (the difference in my use of the term “cancer” here being that I’m readily acknowledging that this is just a metaphor). Cancer is essentially what occurs when a cell of an organism “forgets” its role as a member of a larger whole and turns against the organism, becoming consumed only with its own reproduction. Using this metaphor, we can say the “mental illness” paradigm fosters this turning one part of a whole against itself. We see this taking place interpersonally between members of our society as we develop ever increasing fear of those labelled “mentally ill,” and we see this taking place intrapersonally as we develop ever increasing fear and suspicion of our own “unusual” or “extreme” subjective experiences. We see signs of this cancer spreading throughout nearly every branch of contemporary Western society—our schools and education systems, our media, our government policies, our way of trying to make sense of ourselves and others’ experiences and behavior, and of course our health care systems. We also notice that this type of cancer thrives particularly well on a diet of greed, fear and ignorance—greed (enormous financial incentive to many in the pharmaceutical and mental health industries), fear (especially our fear of uncertainty, preferring an understanding that is clear although flawed to having to make some peace with mystery and the unknown), and ignorance (just think of the daily bombardment by massive amounts of misinformation coming at us from almost every angle)."

- Paris Williams, “The Mental Illness Paradigm: An ‘Illness” That Is Out of Control” (via marginalutilite)

this.

I

Letter From My Heart To My Brain
It’s okay to hang upside-down like a bat,
to swim into the deep end of silence,
to swallow all the keys so you can’t get out.
It’s okay to hear the ocean calling your fevered name

to say your sorrow is an opera of snakes,
to flirt with sharp and heartless things.
It’s okay to write, I deserve everything,
to bow down to this rotten thing
that understands you, to adore the red
and ugly queen of it, to admire
her calm and steady rowing.

It’s okay to lock yourself in the medicine cabinet,
to drink all the wine, to do what it takes to stay
without staying. It’s okay to hate God today
to change his name to yours, to want to ruin all that ruined you.
It’s okay to feel like only a photograph of yourself,
to need a stranger to pull your hair and pin you down,
it’s okay to want your mother as you lie alone in bed.
It’s okay to brick, to fuck, to flame, to church, to crush, to knife
to rock and rock and rock and rock.

It’s okay to wave goodbye to yourself in the mirror.
To write, I don’t want anything.
It’s okay to despise what you have inherited,
to feel dead in a city of pulses. It’s okay
to be the whale that never comes up for air,
to love best the taste of your own blood.

II

Letter From My Brain To My Heart
This house is dirty, but comfortable.
Behind each crooked door
waits the angry weather of a forgiveless child.
I cannot help but admire this horrible
power of mine, how each small thing
can become a death: a lost house key. A spoiled egg.
A howling dog. There is no prayer or pill for me.
This is a ruthless botany and I might as well
be buried in the yard. I have no one to blame.
Not the mother who sang to an empty cradle.
Not the Dog Of Spite who bit my hand,
just this long-legged sorrow
who trails my every joy like a dark perfume.

You have my permission not to love me;
I am a cathedral of deadbolts
and I’d rather burn myself down
than change the locks. 

-Rachel McKibbens

dollydaisyxo:

voltamin:

i’m creating a new word called “kittycrush” a kittycrush is when you like someone so much all you want to do with them is make strange noises and cuddle and spend half your life sleeping on their favorite possessions

i’m gonna start using this word now

(via femmebutt)

"

Sometimes love doesn’t stay, but mother fuck when it does.
It is worth every fire extinguisher mouth that told you
that you were not enough. It’s worth all the people that
tried to put your loves honest flame out.
That confused your birthday candle kiss. Firecracker mouth.
For some blazing forest. torched chapel.

Let ‘em run out of you like a house up in flames.
They won’t be the first. They won’t be the last.
Pull the fire alarm. Let it rain.

"

-

Desireé Dallagiacomo

(via doctorsweetums)

Pictures of people who mock me

For years, strangers have made fun of me for being fat. But I got my power back — by turning the camera on them

"Institutions will try to preserve the problem to which they are the solution."

- The Shirky Principle (via explore-blog)

(via explore-blog)

"There are some people who could hear you speak a thousand words, and still not understand you. And there are others who will understand — without you even speaking a word."

- Yasmin Mogahed  (via creatingaquietmind)

(via creatingaquietmind)

itslarsyouguys:

YOU’RE a baby

I’M a baby

WE CAN BE BABIES TOGETHER

(via paintwithwords)